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Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
I don't think brook has ever known best
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
This is my life. Enjoy the view
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
