U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Randomize
