Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
