I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
