Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
Life is so much better after having sex.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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