So drunk its hurt
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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