so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
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