I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
