you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
