So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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