Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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