white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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