OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
