yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
