A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize