is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
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