Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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