why didn't you poke me back
His hands were made for my vagina.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
