It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
