I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Randomize
