we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Randomize
