Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
wow bdsm is so cute
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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