So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Who knew drunk me could climb a 17 story building for apple juice and sex
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
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