Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
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