she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
Randomize