i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
