Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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