i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Houston, we have a squirter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Nothing says "sober up, you whore" quite like an early morning PAP smear.
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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