I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
