I'm really into asian looking animals
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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