I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I can only send "I want your dick" texts to so many guys before I accidentally over-book myself. I need a day planner.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
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