My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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