thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
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