Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
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