she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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