Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Randomize
