Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
