yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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