He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Randomize
