Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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