Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
