we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
