he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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