sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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