How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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