Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I think my fart just growled at me.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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