there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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