FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
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