I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
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Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
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Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
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