I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I've blown a few things in my day
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Running my fingers through my hair was like that scene in Patch Adams where the old lady got to swim in a pool of pasta. I love Molly.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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