It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Randomize
