so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
