we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize