Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize