You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
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