just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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