if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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