So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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